Everyone has hindrances, everyone has weaknesses that the enemy uses to attack you. My weaknesses happen to be self confidence or the lack of. I went to a new bible study tonight, just walking in the doors I could feel the enemy filling my head with untrue thoughts. Youre not pretty enough to be here... You aren't thin enough... No one likes you.... and out loud I spoke, Get behind me, Satan! I began praying to my Jesus, Lord please calm my heart, I am here for you I am here to worship your name. I could hear him saying, I have sent you here I want you in this place, I know that He wanted me to experience this. The enemy has been working hard to destroy my confidence, to make me feel unworthy to make me feel like I don't even deserve christian friends.
And for the record the people at the bible study were beyond friendly and welcoming, I think the enemy wanted me to think they wouldn't be. I think the enemy wanted me to think that they wouldn't like me and that would think that I didn't belong there. As worship began I just kept praying that the Lord would keep Satan out of my head that I could worship my Jesus and praise his name. It's a daily struggle sometimes to make myself not believe the lies that Satan tells me. I am worthy, I and wonderfully and beautifully made. God make me the way I am for a reason, and God doesn't make mistakes.
So this is a lesson for everyone, be aware that the enemy attacks our weaknesses, do not let them. Pray fervently and keep your eyes set on Him.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Monday, September 24, 2012
Humble
I have been reading through James, which I have completely fallen in love with. I love how God can just completely bring me to the right book in the bible at the right time. I love the whole book of James but something that really has stood out to me is Chapter four.
I love how He can take a situation that I am going through at the moment and find the right verse for me :)
What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Dont they come from evil desires at war within you?
Of course I am a girl, who wants marriage and kids and the whole nine yards. I'm praying and praying for God to bring the man whom I'm suppose to marry into my life. I dont wanna settle I dont want to go about this the wrong way. A wise person once told me that if you go looking for a husband and shakin' down trees you're going to end up with a baboon. She's very wise, because I dont want that at all. So this is when God showed me this verse in James Chapter one verse 5(not word for word) If you need wisdom ask our generous God and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking but when you ask him make sure your faith is in him and him alone.
That hit me and I finally realized it, that you can ask for things all day long, but in order to receive those things you must put your faith in him. I haven't been doing that, sure I pray, I pray about a lot of things but I'm not laying my burdens at his feet. I must learn how to let go and let God take care of things that I cannot change.
I also learning, to humble myself and to be broken in front of him. God opposes the proud but favors the humble.
You see yourself in a mirror, you walk away and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free and if you what it says and don't forget what you heard , but God will bless you for doing it.
I need to not care about what other people see when they look at me, I need to not care what others thing of me. I need to be about HIS business!That HE made me, and he made me beautiful and He loves me, and everything else doesn't matter.
Monday, September 17, 2012
breakthrough
Welcome - I have had many blogs, it's something about putting how I'm feeling into words on a piece of paper. I blog, I journal I do it all - it's a sort of release that seriously makes me feel better and it's a whole lot cheaper than therapy just sayin :)
I'm a lover of Jesus, if you didnt know this blog will be a whole lot of things, from my quiet time to my weight loss journey random huh?
I had dinner with a dear friend of mine and I seriously had a breakthrough it was great and it really showed me how much Jesus loves me, as if I already didn't know. I've been going through lots of hurdles throughout the last couple of years. Any where from body image problems to boy problems and they all have been difficult for me. Sometimes it was hard to love myself knowing that I was so upset all the time. I am slowly coming out of that, it's been hard but it's taken good friends who love me and know my heart, and my Bible to get me through this. This all started when I just randomly opened my bible and the topic was battle :) go figure I am definitely in a battle right now, and how God will get you through it.
Then I closed my bible and opened it again and it was Samuel Ch 4- The death of Eli, which is all about battles and death of course. God is teaching me that the key is to be in the word, to be so strong in Him that when battles do come up, which they will I can lean on HIM and not on my own understandings which NEVER work anyways.
Then I closed my bible again, and it brought me to James ( which also seems fitting, but we'll get on the topic of a certain James way later)
I wanna share a few verses, such as verse 2 ( this is not word for word) ... when troubles come your way consider it an opportunity for great joy.
I dont know about you, but when troubles come my way I cry, I complain... woe is me. I feel like the earth beneath me is giving out. " Why am I always having troubles, why does EVERYTHING always happen to me?" thats the short version :)
But the next verse goes on about, when your faith is tested you have a chance to grow... and a light bulb goes off in my head. I KNOW He's trying to grow me, I know the reason things are being put in my way are to stretch me.
Verse 5-8 say (again not word for word) If you need wisdom ask him!! he will not rebuke you for asking. when you ask him make sure your faith is in HIM alone.
Right then and there I KNEW He was speaking directly to me, I have been asking the Lord for wisdom but not FULLY trusting him. I have not been laying my burdens at his feet.
Verse 12 goes on to say God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation.
I know He's growing me in that area, I know He wants me to be patient to wait on his time not my own.
I just wanna leave you with these song lyrics, because as I was leaving dinner, I turned on my pandora and this is what came on. I was literally singing at the top of my lungs :)
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